I have been pregnant for 126 days, 18 weeks, and I thought I should start a journal to record everything that is happening, with a few details on things that have happened in the past to get me to this point.
First I have to explain who I am. I am not a mom. I am the drunk aunt who ruins Christmas, but whom you secretly like because she keeps it interesting. I never thought I would find a husband, and I never thought I would EVER want to procreate.
I’m sure you understand what kind of person I am, but you need to understand the extent. I have always done everything I can to make sure that a “mistake” didn’t happen, but in the event that it did.. I was pro-choice. That was until April 23, 2012 at 7:32 pm.. That was the exact minute that this crazy aunt started thinking about being a crazy mom.
On April 23, 2012 at 7:32pm, I held my delicate 5 minute old niece for the first time. I held this miracle that I could believe existed. This marvel that my baby sister created almost all by herself. I had never felt such a surge of emotions, I felt so many different things so ferociously that all I could do was stare at her.
Holding my niece didn’t give me baby fever. Holding her made me decide that maybe I would abort whatever had the gal to grow inside me. It wasn’t until I met Lance (names have been changed) that things really started kicking off.
I met Lance in 2014. I was living in an apartment with two rando’s who he happened to be friends with before moving back home. I lived in a smallish east Texas town that was close to home. I was in the last year of my degree and he had just finished his the semester before.
I remember my roommates talking about him. They would say how wonderful of a guy he was, I used to say that they worshiped him as a joke.. but it wasn’t really a joke. They would tell me all kinds of stories about him because I couldn’t believe that someone this remarkable could exist. call me a cynic.
I was convinced that he was missing a leg or was deaf or something. No one is perfect. So, when he showed up to our apartment I was dumbfounded. He was well over six feet tall and dressed in gym clothes. He walked like Fezzik, from The Princess Bride. He was a gentle giant with a long gate and very meticulous steps.
His eyes were so gentle and kind and yet you could tell that he had been through some shit, clue number one. He was perfect, and I was SO relieved that I decided to put on make up before he came!
We hit it off right away. I was smoking on the back patio and after he had changed, I ordered him to come outside so I could see what was wrong with him. As I said earlier no one is perfect, and I am a cynic. 
He came out and after a very brief interview he motor-boated me, we he got very close. I am usually extremely particular about my personal space, but for some reason, it didn’t bother me that he had permeated my circle. which was clue number two.
They decided to have a part that night, which they all did pretty regularly. I usually just stayed in my room because I’m not a huge fan of people, especially those people. However, that night I couldn’t. I needed to be out there with this man that I knew would be mine very soon and for a very long time. But with any good story, there must be obstacles.
We shall call this obstacle Jessica, because I don’t like that name. She had a relation or two with Lance in the past and had fallen MADLY for him. She drove from two cities away just to see him for the night, and also to SEE him for the night ifyouknowwhatImean. 
Lance couldn’t have cared less if he’d tried, which made me ecstatic! probably because I’m an awful person and love to see people I don’t like hurt, but aren’t we all really? I didn’t try to flirt with him in front of her, because it was a little TOO mean for my taste, but he didn’t try very hard.
He kept touching my knee and “accidentally” bumping into me all night, which made her want shots. Lots of shots. She eventually had so many that she became “white girl wasted” as the kids these days say. She was in the bathroom for a pretty long time puking, farting, and screaming for Lance. But he wouldn’t leave me, clue number three.
She stayed on one couch and he stayed on the a weird papasan futon thing that we had that wasn’t even comfortable to sit on, let alone sleep on. I wanted to invite him to sleep, just sleep, in my bed because there was plenty of room, but I don’t like drama, so he was stuck on the futon.
The next day, we spent every waking hour together, except when I was in the bathroom smoking. She saw every bit of it and was not happy. She FINALLY left at the end of the day and tried to get him to walk her out to her car, ifyouknowwhatImean. Since he is such a wonderfully nice person, he walked her to the front door and told her to have fun and came back to me.
That night we slept together, not in the ifyouknowwhatImean kind of way.. and actually, now that I say it, we didn’t even sleep. We layed in the dark all night talking, and after many many hours, we halfway ifyouknowwhatImean..ed.
He was MAGNIFICIENT! I still think about that time to this day, years later. Clue number 4.
It was about a week later that I realized that I was eventually going to have a baby. I also realized that he was going to be the one that gave it to me. And thus the baby fever era began.
Mama Said 